This afternoon, I sat in front of the open fridge after picking up our CSA share crying and mumbling something about being a terrible mother. I'm pretty sure it stemmed from not being able to fit all the veggies in the fridge; Clearly these two things are connected. Lately, I've been struggling to keep up with life's demands. In addition to raising my now 14-month old, I'm running a new business. Add the usual housekeeping and garden-tending and the kitchen remodeling that we're gearing up to have done next month, and I'm just about ready to wave the white flag.
This morning (prior to the above breakdown), I set out with a goal of accomplishing three tasks during my time at home. These three tasks were simple: stake the tomato plants, bake a batch of cookies, write a blog post. By the time my son went down for his morning nap, the three tasks had multiplied to ten tasks. Organize the desk! Clean the kitchen! Laundry! Weed the garden! Bring the jar of pennies that have been sitting around for the past year to get counted at the grocery store! And I wanted to complete this in the two precious hours that my son was asleep. I completely overloaded myself and stressed myself out before noon.
This evening, after returning from five hours at the studio (I am the proud co-owner/teacher of Renew Pilates) I realized I just might be able to get those initial three tasks completed before I went to bed. At 8pm, as I started the cookies, David and I reviewed the day. I was so frustrated from feeling frustrated. I am rarely able to accomplish the tasks I need to do on a daily basis, but I have to find time to accomplish some of the tasks that I want to do, like baking cookies. I said to my husband "You know, deep down, all I REALLY want to be is Miss Suzy Homemaker". He laughed that 'yeah, okay' laugh, and I laughed, too. All I REALLY want to be?! All I REALLY want to be is, in no particular order: 1. The best Mama possible, 2. A fierce, fair and successful entrepreneur, 3. An amazing wife, 3. A seriously fabulous teacher, 4. Well rested, 5. Miss Suzy Homemaker, 6. A karaoke superstar.
Writing this post is my third task for this evening. It's high time I started writing again, so here I go. I've got a ton of veggies that don't even fit in my fridge right now, which means I'm bound to have a good recipe or funny story to share.
I'm going to leave you with this image of my little man at the farm yesterday. We picked a bouquet of flowers together and then I let him enjoy the dirt a bit. Right after I took this picture I realized he was sitting on top of an erupted ant hill. I had a near heart-attack, but he was completely unfazed.
And now, this little Miss Suzy Homemaker can go to sleep satisfied that she's accomplished her three tasks for the day.
Pssst....Have garlic scapes and fresh green beans? Saute them together in some olive oil until they're bright green and sprinkle them with some kosher salt. You won't be sorry!